I watched my wife walk across a 9:30pm gas station parking lot in search of a quick, caffeine fix and I realized this was pretty much universal. My arm hurt and I was tired because I had just got off of work and had apparently lifted something wrong during it. She was getting ready, post-feine, to take me home. I am sleepy and tired and will be in bed in an hour and there she was getting ready to life boxes.
Hopefully, not wrong.
It sucks a little, having a spouse have to go into work in that time of day when you are not at work. Like I said, though, this is pretty much universal (if you were wondering WHAT was universal there, I did that on purpose, don't hold it against me). I cannot think of a single married couple who has not had at least a couple months of their life dominated by the absence of the other.
It often happens when they are younger, getting feet on the ground, though it sometimes occurs when they are older. In the case of my parents, my dad's last job was one that required night shift work. My brother David is once again getting ready to head out to sea, gone from his home a month at a time.
Its odd sleeping in a bed built, literally, for two and realizing in the back of your mind that the other is not there. It feels almost like a panic, like something is wrong. But its not wrong and its not a panic, it is just something that we all tend to go through. It has an adjustment period, I suppose. It has not been long enough for me but then this is the first week so there you go. In a couple of weeks I may groan when she is there.
Why is it universal, though? If it happens all the time, why does it still suck so bad? I don't know. It seems backwards that our society is set up in a way that sometimes, not the majority by far but omnipresently all the same, a loving couple must split up in form just to stay together in reality?
I guess its just the way the ball bounces. Her at work, coming home in the morning and I go to work. We will see each other as a tired person sitting across from each other in a car.
Here is to all those weird little pieces of crap days that all married couple share. Here is to all those sucky little moments apart. Here is to know that our experience is completely unique, yet universal. Just like pretty much anything we ever do.
Written by W. Doug Bolden
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