From bearlove being good to DNA testing of dog poop, with a detachable penis used to seduce a minor (it's weirder than it sounds), I respond to various news bits. Bonus: What I'm reading right now...

BLOT: (12 Jun 2012 - 10:18:58 AM)

From bearlove being good to DNA testing of dog poop, with a detachable penis used to seduce a minor (it's weirder than it sounds), I respond to various news bits. Bonus: What I'm reading right now...

When I posted this pic

,

I was pretty sure my next book was going to be either that one or an earlier collection by him. Instead, it turned out to be this one:

For those not knowing the story, Palahniuk first wrote this book prior to the massive cult-o-rific success that Fight Club became [post-movie, I'm sure]. Originally, it was a bit darker and had a few funky tricks (notably, it was written out of order and getting the story requires back and forthing it. It is actually my favorite Palahniuk book, in its original form, so reading the intended form is a treat. I forgot how horrible hilarious the whole thing is. A warning to the e-curious, though, a major aspect of this version is hopping back and forth between parts of the book—"Now please go to chapter five", "Now please go to chapter sixteen", etc—and no one thought to build this automatically into the Kindle version (via chapter links). What searching I've done on the "nookbook" edition didn't turn up much. I have some theories about this, but I'll be polite.

But since we are not here to discuss books, not really, let's go on to the weird news articles.

The Oatmeal is being sued by FunnyJunk over defamation of character and damages. The "defamation" in this case is The Oatmeal complaining about stuff being posted on FJ's site and every time they would get it taken down, looks like it would go back up. There was a blog post (note: a blog post is reasonably a snapshot in time, not meant to be updated to reflect changes in events) where the infringement was complained about, and now there is a suit that is saying that by leaving the blog post up, even though the conditions hadn't actually changed, The Oatmeal is engaging in a continual war on FunnyJunk's character, and there are some claims of SEO doodaddery and a hidden threat of pterodactyl attacks. The Oatmeal's response is to raise the money demanded for settlement, then donate it to the National Wildlife Federation and to the American Cancer Society. I'm not sure if I would have responded as such, but it makes for an interesting tactic.

And if Intellectual Property litigation is not your thing, well, here's one for you: Property complexes step into DNA testing of dog poop. I'll leave it there without comment.

As for a comment about a Montgomery story, this one about how Mobile pays $500,000 for a service that Montgomery pays a single employee, I'm sure the takeaway is meant to be, "Wow, way to overspend, Mobile!", but frankly I feel bad for that Montgomery man, who just realized how underpaid and understaffed he has been this whole time.

Not spicy enough for you? Well, then. Here's one. 24-year-old woman from Massachusetts poses as a 17-year-old father of twins and *youth pastor* to seduce a 15-year-old West Virginia female...and when busted, has a flesh colored dildo in her pocket. Bonus crazy #1: A Kindle Fire was involved. HAWT! Bonus crazy #2: the initial face to face was arranged and paid for partially by the girl's mother, including a hotel stay where the first sexual contact was had. Bonus, batshit crazy #3: The followup encounter took place over days at the girl's house. The detachable penis is held in place for a full penetration session (with the woman never going fully undressed, natch). CRAZY PERSON THEN MADE VIDEOTAPES OF THE ACT! Oh man...nothing says "put me in prison" quite like getting footage of you defrauding and deflowering a 15-year-old.

And if you prefer your child seduction with Hello Kitty themes, then you are in luck. Man, dude had sex with all sorts of forbidden fruit, and apparently took many videos and posted many pictures on his Hello Kitty tricked out Facebook profile. Damn, man. Just...damn.

Enough of that. And, rather than end it on that note, here's a picture of the Doctor with his new companion:

Random news out! Have a better one...

OTHER BLOTS THIS MONTH: June 2012